Saturday's Herald has a story about a high-rise window washer who's been arrested, fired from his job, and charged with a felony for killing a seagull.
According to "witnesses", Christopher Guay killed a seagull, apparently with his squegee (how the heck do you do that?) while on the job last week.
Guay was arrested, by the MSPCA police, thrown in the hoosegow (where his wife had to pay over a thousand bucks to bail him out), and charged with a felony count of cruelty to animals - which could carry a five year prison term.
His company fired him, and subsequently lost the contract with the building on which he was working at the time.
Guay claims that he was just defending himself from an aggressive bird.
So. The MSPCA police? What the heck is that about? The MSPCA is a private, not-for-profit advocacy group, it's not a government agency? They can just frickin' arrest people? This is crazy! For killing an animal? A felony?
To get to the bottom of this I called* the phone number on their website.
(*This may or may not be made up. I can't remember. It was a long night. You know how it is...)
BunnyHugger: Good morning, MSPCA Police, Jodi speaking. What is the nature of your animal emergency?
Kal: Help! There's chickens being abused!
BunnyHugger: Calm down sir. Can you tell me what's happening to them?
Kal: Oh, it's awful! They're being killed!
BH: Killed? Oh no!
K: Yes, killed! And ripped apart! By an awful man..
BH: Can you give the address, please sir?
K: Yes, yes... It's a brick house, at 121 Beaker Street, Pleasantville.
BH: 121... Yes, thanks. I have that. I'll dispatch a unit right away.
K: Please, hurry. Oh my God, cows too! Help the cows!
BH: Cows too, I see.
K: The man! He's doing it again!
BH: Can you describe him for me?
K: Yes, he has red hair...
BH: ...red hair...
K: ...and big feet....
BH: ...feet. Do you know his name sir?
K: Yeah, it's Ron.
BH: Okay, Ron. Ron what sir?
K: McDonald. Quick, all the chickens... He's turning them into McNuggets...
-click-
So, folks, it's fine to eat a factory raised, never seen the light of day, lived all it's miserable life in a 4x2 pen, piece of veal - but if you hit a seagull (the rats of the air, by the way), bam! To the dungeons!
What the fvck is wrong with this country?
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1 comments:
Okay, a seagull might be a bit extreme, but he dispatched it with intention and No Small Modicum of Violence.
Sent it crashing, wing crushed, to the pavement a million feet below.
Yuck. Bird parts everywhere.
Where's Ronald when you need him?
And besdies, the MSPCA does a great job in dealing with things like losing greyhounds being bashed with shovels and thrown, still breathing, into dumpsters. So if they get rabid about this stuff, just remember what they've seen.
I just wish the MSPCC (Massachusetts Society For the Prevention of Cruelty to CHILDREN) were as effective and aggressive!
BunnyHugger
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