So, I'm sitting there the other night watching Commander in Chief...
(Ye Gods, I hate that f*ing show. And I'm stuck here watching it while Wifeypooh goes into some Estro-crazed state talking to the TV like a Baptist Chruch-goer; "You Go Girl! That's Right, don't let that man get in your way!" "Oh sister, those men, they craaazy!")
(Okay, I made that up. But I am subjected to this horrible "every man is an evil stupid power crazed idiot prick and a woman would rule the world with Love, Justice, And Cookies for All" bullshit each week. They canceled Threshold and let this live? Jiminey Cricket.)
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes. Anywho, I was thinking about the differences between men and women...
Really. Really! Last week's episode was the most f*ing unrealistic combination of liberal- and Estro-crazed claptrap! Like a US President would offer a $500 million bribe to North Korea to allow us to rescue the crew of our sunken submarine. Yeah. Sure. An then she'd apologize? Uh huh. And the wife of a powerful politician would seek out a former staffer who looks like Natasha Henstridge and try and get her to go back to working for her husband? Umm'kay. "Umm, incredible hot person, who you please go work for my husband so he can have a big affair with you? Please?" I know what that storyline was all about: men need women around becasue without them we're stupid... Grr...)
Oh dear. Did it again. Must calm down... Okay, I was reflecting upon some of the differences between men and women, and was noting that many of my female co-workers have recently expressed frustration that their husbands/lifepartners/boyfriends have this very bad habit of going to bed and actually falling asleep...
It seems they all take some time to doze off and their males are all able to go right to sleep. Which is annoying as hell if you're sitting there trying to get to sleep and hubby is sawing logs right next to you.
This is the way it is here at Chez Kal, as I will generally be asleep five minutes after putting my head down, and Wifeypooh can linger for, literally, hours. If, as they say, a clear conscience is a soft pillow, I am begining to think Wifeypooh murdered a hobo somewhere in her past. She simply can not get to sleep quickly, which, as I noted from my exhaustive and completely scientific survey of three women in my office, is a universal problem for women.
Now I have a theory as to why this is.
Kal's Theory of Life #217
Back in the caveman day, women produced most of the food, through gathering plants, while men contributed relatively modest (in terms of calorie consumption) amounts of meat through hunting. The big advantage to having a male around was to fend off the various nasty creatures like Sabre-tooth tigers that dropped in during the night. Thus the males that would get to mate and pass along their genes were good defenders of their cave.
This created a genetic preference in men for those who could rouse themselves quickly to defend their caves. If you're tired because you've been futzing around for an hour trying to get to sleep, well, you're Sabre-tooth tiger chow. Women, as I've said, didn't need to have this skill as much because their guy would pop up and take care of the tiger, allowing them to sleep in.
This correlates well with second observation that if I hear so much as a peep out of the ordinary I'm up and fully awake in 2.3 seconds. Rastacat could be dancing the rumba on Wifeypooh's head and she'd sleep right through it. Rastacat, as we all know, is the modern descendent of the dreaded Sabre-toothed tiger. Ergo, I am on alert for him.
There, that's my theory. In the interest of science I've created this poll to capture additional findings. Please take a moment and indicate the appropriate response. Thank you for your support of knowledge.